Riding amongst the waves

After some encouragement from a friend of mine, I'm writing another blog. Last night, i read a lot of my old facebook notes, my myspace blogs, and even more embarrassing, my old xanga entries. I discovered something about myself. I discovered those that read what I wrote knew more about what was going through my mind then any of my friends or family. I discovered I'm one of those people who will listen to your problems and help you work through them, but for the most part keep my issues to myself. Now sure I've come to a lot of you for advice over the years, but I always knew I was holding something back. Vital information that could have been helpful in giving proper advice. For someone as outgoing as I am, you would think it would be easy to do something like that. One of the biggest complaints I've had against me as a boyfriend is that I don't really open up. And for that, I'm sorry. I don't know if I really know how to open up correctly. I spent my life being the one there for everyone else, that I forgot to take notice of those that were always there for me. But for whatever reason, I can open up on here, express my deepest fears and issues on here, but can't say them verbally. Does that make any bit of sense? No, it does not. But that's how it is I guess.

So then what is on my mind? You know, I don't really know. All I know is that life has yet to turn out the way I was hoping it would. Does that mean life sucks right now? Eh, maybe. But I know it could always be worse. So yeah, it sucks that I had to move back home to Missouri and live with my parents, but at least I have parents that allowed me to do so. I have a warm bed, a hot shower and a roof over my head. Is that really a bad thing? No, my family is pretty cool, so it's been ok. It just sucks that I'm a college graduate who is unemployed still. But I've got a family that loves me enough to support me through these tough times. I've got a car that is in excellent condition, I never doubt if it will start when I go out to start it, and with the exception of a crazy headlight, it functions perfectly. And I get to park it in our garage and life is good. Could life be better? Of course it could, I think life could always be better.

I apologize to those friends back in Memphis and in Mississippi that I've lost touch with. I miss you guys, and I'm trying to get back in the south. I loved my time there, well most of it anyway. haha. But I couldn't have asked for better roommates all throughout college. The best part is, I didn't have to keep changing them every year. We all got along, we were friends, and we have memories I'll never forget. This past year in Oxford was some of the best times of life. Staying up way late and ignoring homework to dominate in another game of Phase10 or lose ridiculously in a game of Yahtzee or any other game for that matter. Going to the basketball games and baseball games all semester long. The coining of such phrases as "WWJD, What Would Josh Do? and then do the opposite." or Jim's favorite quote of mine (that I never really said, mind you) "I can't, I have a receding hair line." Getting conned into going to a Lil' Wayne concert, driving out to Dallas and spending money I didn't have just to go to the Cotton Bowl, catching a home run ball at a Redbirds game. I couldn't have asked for better friends this past year, you guys have been absolutely amazing. I feel like I owe you more than I could ever give you. You guys rock, the end.

So what am I up to now? Well, other then living at home, not a whole heck of a lot at all. I'm looking for a job, pretty much anything at this point. They've already given me two callings a church, I'm the YSA rep for my ward (go figure right, I can't shake it. ha) and I also work with the Bears for Cub Scouts. And it's been way fun. We're working on a skit for the Pack Meeting in a few weeks. As far as the job search goes, I've got a few leads down on the coast. My dad has a lot of connections down there, and so we're gonna see what we can find. I've heard back from places like Dallas, and San Antonio as far as working at federal offices out there. I made the second to last cut in San Antonio, but missed the final cut. Dallas, no dice. And so it's been a big letdown on the job front. But I get to be home and spend time with my family, and that's always a good thing, right? I've been able to watch my little brother play soccer for the high school. Good times.

I guess that's it for now. But whats a blog of mine without some music? So I'll talk about the new Pearl Jam album for a bit now. It's actually really good! I'm a big fan of Pearl Jam, but their last few albums I've liked some of the songs, but typically not the whole album. But the new one "Backspacer" I love from front to back. Especially "Just Breathe" and "Amongst the Waves." The line from "Just Breathe" I love the most says "I'm a lucky man to count on both hands the ones I love/Some folks just have one/others they got none." And I realize how truly lucky I am. I do have quite a few people that I love. And you guys are awesome. And then "amongst the waves" just has that great rock song feel to it. One of those songs you just know that when they play it live it's gonna be unbelievable! I love Pearl Jam. And other albums I've been listening to a lot lately are the "High Fidelity" soundtrack and the "Adventureland" soundtrack. Both great movies with equally as great soundtracks. Ok kids, I think that's it for now. Enjoy!